Imagine every south Indian parents’ worst nightmare. No, not flunking the final college exams. Something worse, something more sinister, something absolutely unacceptable.

The online boyfriend. Even the serious kind.

Where did you meet this boy? What kind of a boy is he, that he is in an online dating site! Who are his parents? What about his past? What is he hiding? Does he have many girlfriends? How do you know if he’s telling the truth? And the questions go on!! Note: Questions on your own participation in these “online dating sites” will soon follow.

And these are questions from reasonable parents. For those of whom, who have parents who follow caste and ‘joshiyum’, may their paths to pain and suffering and maybe eventual break up, be a little less painful.

Would normal Indian parents accept a boy whom a girl met online. My guess is maybe, but not easily.

However, what I do find more ridiculous, is their easy acceptance of random men in online “shaadi” sites. More than half of these men, whom were “accepted” by my parents and passed to me, upon close inspection, were found to be disturbing and unrealistic.

Around 80% of the men in these sites, would have ticked the “does not drink a drop of alcohol” question and would look for a person with similar characteristics. Please note that their Facebook profiles would probably host a vast number of pictures of them, holding drinks of their own. Some say, they do this to get past the initial filtering done by Indian parents.

All of my statistics are for men that I find on these sites, since I am a woman. A straight one. It is more than possible, that there are some profiles of women on these sites, that are way more outrageous.

My point is this, dating, or finding an ideal groom or bride anywhere is a dangerous game. Whether the partner is found by you or by your parents. But we are still in an age, where the onus is on us, to convince our parents that the guy you’re dating is not all that bad. And maybe, just maybe, that’s not a bad thing after all.

PS: The author of this article is basing this on a hypothetical situation, where a set of normal Indian parents are introduced to a normal Indian guy. Found online. She is also 5’3” tall, a little dark, fit, earns reasonably well and hates making chapattis.

If anything, I am grateful for my past few years in Boston, because of the people I have met. The people I call my friends, who are now as close as family.

I have been blessed to have friends who helped me move all my crazy stuff, from one apartment to another.

Friends who stayed awake through the night with me, when I have been sick. Friends who made sure I had good food to eat when I was down with fever and cold.

Friends who lent me a new laptop when mine broke.

Friends who call every week to check in with me, even when I’ve been antisocial. Friends who pick up my call, any time, because they know I’m going through a bad time. Friends who been my support through my lowest moments.

Friends who are ready to pull my leg, anytime -_-.

Friends who are like family.

No, I’m not a big fan of bitching. I can neither acquit myself from charges of bitching now and then. And no, I don’t bitch because it’s an inherent characteristic of a woman. I’ve seen quite a few men guilty of the charge. Now, that a few “assumptions” have been cleared, let’s get on with it.

Have I talked badly about someone behind their back? Yeah, sure. Quite a few times really. Do I talk badly about everyone behind my back? Hell no. I reserve that status for the few, rather special people in my life. Are there people who bitch about everyone else in their life? Yeah sure. Tons of them. And they are the ones I am gonna talk about. Their circle of life. Uhm, I mean bitching.

You would imagine that people who bitch all the time don’t really have friends. But, they do. In fact they have quite a few! Tons of friends to party with, tons of friends to hang out with, tons of friends to bitch with. Oh, and tons of ‘friends’ to bitch about.

In fact, the bitching brings them closer… “Oh my, did you hear what HE was doing the other day?”, “Wait, you don’t like him either?”, “Ugh, how could I, when all he can do is blah blah blah”.. Subject of conversation approaches, “Hi there, how was your day?” “I love what you’re wearing. And I heard what you did the other day! That was amazing!!”. Exchange sly glances. New bitch relationship found. So yeah. Bitching does form friendship. Of a sort. Until, of course you realize that the subject of bitching in “Week – 1” was you, and there goes your friendship.

Start “Week Current” bitching about that old friend with new bitch friend (yes! the initial subject of the bitching), and now we now have a full circle of bitching.

There are those who still remain friends and bitch all through their ‘friendship’. They are a special category of ‘human’. I will not talk about that category of ‘human’. End bitching. End.