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Ugh.. Indian Men on Dating Apps.

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Ugh.. Indian Men on Dating Apps. “insert smack my head smiley”.

Warning: The following paragraphs may include the rants of an extremely annoyed Indian girl (who refuses to be called a woman, because I do NOT grow old).

As a millennial, with no close access to reliable young men, I have had some experiences with dating apps. In my opinion, dating apps can be used to find your perfect someone. Whatever your definition of “perfect” may be.

My definition of a perfect someone, is, someone who is kind, honest, interested, not looking to play around, and smart. This definition varies for some. Today, I speak for those who use the apps to look for something which could turn serious, maybe.

Begin rant.

Why do Indian men assume dating apps are only for hooking up, playing around, fooling people and not being serious?!!!!

Also, why do Indian men assume every other Indian girl out there is looking for the same thing?

Based on statistics (from very “un-questionable” sources), when Indian men go on a date, they are usually not very forthcoming about what they want. They wishy wash around the “what are you looking for subject” unless directly asked. Non-Indian men on the other hand are a lot more honest about what they want. Which I appreciate. I do not care about modesty around the subject about hooking up. I am interested in honesty and not wasting my time. And theirs.

I have nothing against people who want a casual relationship. Personally, I am not up for it because it is too much energy spent on something which is, according to me, not worth it.

What I am against is not being forthcoming about what you want. If you want a casual relationship, great, let the girl or guy know, first date. Or preferably, before you meet them.

Also, what annoys me greatly, is that a lot of these guys are looking for something serious but don’t know how to go about it. They eventually listen to mommy, daddy or wait to be introduced to someone.

If your parents can find you a girl or boy through shaadi apps, which look identical to dating apps,  with the swiping and what not, except that they want to know how much money you make, you can find your dream boy or dream girl through a dating app. It’s not that different. It’s how you use it.

So, boys and girls, everyone, grow up.

End.

PS. The author of this article is usually always correct in all that she write. She is also very humble, kind, and out of the dating game, in case anyone was interested. 😉

Rejection

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You prepare your heart for it,

Knowing it will come,

You raise those walls,

You expect nothing,

You seal those lips,

You lock those questions,

For only then,

You know you can,

Greet it proudly,

Smiling sadly.

 

Pessimistic much?

I came upon this little poem I had written a couple of years ago. And it is beautiful in the way that it captures my present state of mind and it’s battles.

I catch myself doing the following often. Whenever I have an event coming up, which involves a possible approval from another person, I prepare to get rejected. More or less always. The few times that I have not done so, ended badly, when the verdict was not in my favor.

This could be related to an approval from my boss, an approval from a cute guy. I also used to do the same thing when expecting approval from my parents, but I have now rooted myself into a position where I can reason with them. While they may not agree, I believe that my own personal financial independence may have helped. But in other cases, where money does not help, I am still at a loss. I do fight for things that I believe I am due, but I also believe that people have a right in choosing the right partner for them. This is a right I exercise quite often, mind you. So in all fairness, if the guy does not like you, there is no point in fighting or arguing your case. Your best bet is to move on. But it still fucking sucks.

I do not believe that preparing to get rejected is the right way of going about things. Having high expectations of the other person from your end, believing in yourself and knowing that things are for the best is the best way to handle it. And while it may suck a while after said day, it is still worth it. Don’t forget to pick up and move on.

Who you are..

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A recent conversation with a friend made me rethink a couple of things which I thought, at a time, were facts.

I’ve grown up in an environment where people’s achievements were attributed to talent and hard work. “He plays the piano so well.” “He is a talented boy.” “Oh yes, he spends a lot of time playing the piano.” “No wonder he is so good at it.”

In fact I argued with my friend, that this was all it was factored to. Though out the conversation, she pointed out that the experiences of a person also greatly factor their achievements.

For example, I enjoyed working on the logical problems in GRE. This was probably because I did well in that section, in fact a lot better than the mathematical and verbal sections. I wonder why that was. Was I, as a person good at solving puzzles, was it a talent of mine? My sister had worked on her GRE ages before I even considered taking mine.  So, could it be attributed to the fact that as a child, the prep software my sister working on her GRE, had a great user design in the form of a car, and I was intrigued by it? I remember, the younger version of me seeing that as a game and doing my best to solve the test questions(though I failed miserably at it.) Was it because my sister had spent the time then to explain to me how those problems could be solved? Eventually, through life, whenever I encountered a similar logical problem, I would try and solve it. I think it was the latter, now that I think deeply about it.

Another observation I found interesting was the mindset with which you approach a task. “Oh yeah, that’s easy”. “This is pretty interesting”. When you approach a task with that thought in mind, you do well in it. Or at least better than approaching it with an “I can’t do it” attitude.

However, this brings for a head or tail issue. Do you approach a task with a positive mindset because you are good at it? Or do you do well in a task because you approach it with a positive mindset?

One of the biggest setbacks for me, when approaching a task or acquiring a skill, was seeing how much better the people around me were. “There was no way I could get into a top-tier college. Look how perfect her score is! There is no way I will be able to get that score. So it does not make sense for to even try!”

The more I looked around, I could see people trying hard to set a mark in this world. And a mark they will set. I have come to realize that, whatever task you are faced with, when you go at it with a level of confidence and a generous helping of hard work, you CAN master it.

The unwelcome guest

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You rarely invite me on your own,
You hate me, you scorn me,
You want me to leave,
But the door to leave is always shut tight,
With the key to the door held tightly in your hand,
And when you finally open the doors,
You look at me with pleading eyes, saying,
Oh Pain, Oh Pain, please don’t ever come again.

Breaking down the ‘Simple Indian Curry’

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cropped-img_2644.jpg

If you do find cooking to be a difficult task to venture into or are scared to attempt Indian curries, you might find the below article to be a little useful. I’ve been cooking Indian curries for a few years and the programmer/coder in me found quite a few similarities in the “procedures” aka recipes, used to make them. For more than a year, I have been making curries without specific recipes. Most of these have been successful. However, there have been a few disasters as well. This blog lists down some of the things that helped me make a “successful” curry.

Big fat disclaimer: What I say does not include all Indian curries. I am pretty sure some of those curries out there require a lot of technique and skill and blah blah blah, but this blog should help you start out, understand and analyze the techniques needed to make indian curries and perhaps help you on your journey to make curries without any recipes!

Before we begin, some of the staples necessary to make an Indian curry are

  • Coriander powder
  • Chilli powder
  • Turmeric
  • Garam masala
  • Onions
  • Tomatos
  • Ginger garlic paste

Also, if you are planning to make something with meat or chicken, try and get your hands on “Chicken masala”.

To summarize the entire blog even before I begin, the basic steps needed to make a simple indian curry:

  • Sauté onions until it becomes golden brown.
  • Add ginger garlic paste and sauté again for another minute.
  • Add the tomatoes and masalas and cook it out for a while (the longer the better). Make sure all the masala is completely cooked (this is checked by tasting).
  • Add your meat or vegetables at this point and cook it out.

Tada! You now have an indian curry.

Though it is as simple as that, to avoid a complete disaster, you might need to know a few things first.

Ingredients and quantities:

Most of the curries I have made always include both onions and tomatoes. However, you could opt to omit or change the proportions of these to try something different. I would advise you not to avoid the onions though (so much flavor! – also, I have no idea how a curry made without onions would taste).

To start of making your first curry on your own, I would say stick to equal quantities of onions and tomatoes. Eg: If you have one super large onion, add two medium tomatoes. If the onions are smaller, add tomatoes of equal quantities.

Be careful when you buy chilli powders and use them! They tend to vary in mildness and should be added to the curry accordingly. You could substitute the chilli powder with green chillies instead . Make sure you add the chillies along with the onions!

To spice up your curry a lil more, you could also add pureed coriander and mint. Add them in varying quantities to experiment with flavors. Note: this makes your curry turn into a brown color. If you want your curry to be more green than brown, go easy on the tomatoes.

Finally, for the creamy richness experiment with either coconut milk or cream. Go easy on the coconut milk on your first try.

Taste-testing your curry:

Often times you might end up with a curry which is just so blah. Don’t worry, most curries only need a little pick me up. If you can’t figure out what is wrong with your curry, add salt. (Even better, add garlic salt). If it still lacks flavor, squeeze some lime into the curry (done towards the end- don’t cook out the yummy lime tanginess). If it is too spicy, add cream or coconut milk to the curry. You could add yoghurt too, but it does add a different flavor to the curry and I would advise you to proceed with caution. You can also add a little sugar (LITTLE). I’m not a big fan of sweet curries, but there do exist a few good ones.

Hopefully, I’ve given you enough information to prep yourself to make your first curry (without a strict recipe).

 

The primitive rules of Chennai’s colleges

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The latest uproar in the news is about the ‘infamous’ Sai Ram Engineering College and the numerous “rules” enforced by the college. For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, the following links should give you a pretty descriptive idea about the ‘horrors’ faced by the students of these Universities.
Rules in Chennai Engineering Colleges
NDTV News

Well, a few of you might have questions. Who would ever go to such a University? Are these rules unveiled only when the student enters the University? How do these Universities enforce these rules?? Is this the only University of its kind? Why did no one make a fuss about it before?

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